Secrets (whether big or small) are toxic.
They imprison us while we reap the consequence
of invisible killers destroying our home.
There comes a time in marriage when you realize the truth about the other person.
And poor Sergio, his day came when he innocently walked through the door after a long day at work. You see, I had already been fighting this battle alone for the ENTIRE first year of marriage and I was prepared to give him my all.
He; on the other hand, had no idea that he just walked onto a battlefield where massive, gas explosions were my specialty.
For months, I had a skewed view of marriage. Everything had to be "perfect". Everything.
.....June Clever had become my role model.
He never said a word. I considered his silence as approval. When in reality, his silence was solely because these things did not cross his mind. He was just happy to be married with all it's glorious benefits.
Little did he know, I was holding onto a teeny, tiny, toxic secret.
I had just finished cooking dinner and was getting ready to set the table when I felt a rumble. It was not like my stomach was saying, "oh, this smells yummy. Put it in my tummy." It was more like something within me erupted sending a river of lava throughout my entire intestinal tract & leaving no survivors.
I was either going to die or I was going to have to release the beast.
And just then, I saw the time.
Sergio was to arrive home within minutes and he had never known this side of me before. I had become a master of disguise using cleaners, candles, & open ventilation. For an ENTIRE YEAR.
I panicked. Was today the day that I let him in on my dirty secret?
"Yes," I thought, "this has become ridiculous."
And in that moment, I felt freedom on so many levels.
As I walked out of the bathroom, our eyes fixed upon each other.
"Hi, honey", my voice cracked.
"How was your day?" I asked as if I didn't just push him into warzone without first giving him a gas mask.
It only took a second for our 600 sq ft home to fill with a smell more foul than a pig factory.
His eyes watered and he was clearly high on fumes.
"What the heck died in here?!", he gagged.
I just died.
Clenching his nose, he quickly began opening up every window in the house.
I joined him by opening the front door.
He followed me outside.
We sat on the front porch until the enemy had faded away.
Our laughter brought freedom.
And the truth set us BOTH free.