Friday, January 21, 2011

I'm a 'bleeder'...

Luke 8

It has been twelve years since I first began this rather hopeless journey towards healing. All of my resources and funds have been exhausted trying to find a cure for my bleeding, this bleeding that has deemed me as unclean. There is not a single doctor that has been able to heal me, even those highly respected and called the “great physicians” did nothing.

I have nothing left. I have carried this loneliness for so long. My emotions have turned from anger, sadness, frustration, and even jealousy. Yes, jealousy. I have watched mothers play with their children out in the fields, husbands holding their wives close, and friends sharing a meal together at one’s table. I; however, have been alone.

I often lay in bed and wish to be held close by the one who would love me forever and then I sometimes drift off into a dream world of happiness. But as I turn over to the vacant side of the bed, I am reminded that my bed is unclean and I am & will be the only one who sleeps there.

My thoughts scream loudly within me....this is not fair! I did not chose this! Why has this happened to me?!

It’s been twelve years since I have had dinner with my family. I sit and eat alone. There seems to be no one who would come close to me. I don’t really blame them, who would want to be unclean until evening? But, can’t they treat me as if I’m human? I am here physically, their actions speak as if I am non-existent.

As I try my best to fight, to continue to be strong while on this journey, my mind is constantly struggling? Will nothing change? Will I die alone? Streams of questions flowed through my head daily as I tried my best to be “normal”. But left with my thoughts alone can be bad company.

You see, my condition has caused me to be an outcast in this society. I have been ridiculed by both men and women as well as terrorized by children. All walk away from me, most would turn their heads as to avoid eye contact! And the kids, well, let's just say that I am finally good at dodging their rocks.

One day, I heard of this man called ‘Jesus’ who has healed a demon-possessed man, raised a widow’s son from the dead, & healed a crippled man! I could not believe that he was passing through the region of Galilee. With desperation and determination, I went to see him. What did I have to lose? I was determined to get through the crowds to simply touch his cloak. I am sure that just one simple touch, I will be healed.

Pressing my way through the crowd was tough. I don’t remember much, but I can tell you that my eyes were focused on the Messiah! Once I got close, I stretched out my arm trying to reach him, and I did! I touched the fringe of his robe & I could tell at that moment that I was healed! The bleeding had stopped!!

Oh how I wanted to jump and scream! I wanted to tell the world!!!

But my internal celebration came to a hault when I heard him ask “Who touched me?”. Peter questioned why he was asking when there was certainly a large crowd & He had been touched by so many. I scooted back and wanted to hide, but couldn’t. He knew that I intentionally reached out to touch Him & He felt the healing power go out of him.

Fear welled-up inside of me. What do I do? I have two decisions to make, I could could escape and hide in the midst of the crowd or I could let Him know that it was me. I was terrified and my entire body began to tremble! I immediately fell to my feet and made a mess of myself...I blurted out why I touched Him and that I was healed!

It was amazing what He said next, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace.”

My faith had made me well???!! In my hopelessness and time of despair, He reached out to me….ME! I was once an outcast, a lonely wanderer, a woman with no one to love. But, He changed all of that and He let everyone know!!

He gave me life again! I am no longer the Bleeding Woman from the region of Gaililee. My name is Mary.

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