Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A Healing Letter from Grandma.....

Words from a Grandma's heart always seem to touch deep in the soul!

And today I received such a letter from my Grandma Ardle (my dad's mom). It could not have come at a better time. I do think of my dad everyday and miss his scratchy voice on the phone. When he passed away, I would call his cell phone everday (more than once a day) for a few months just to hear his voice. It broke my heart the day that his number was no longer a working number and I had to find another method to move on.

I called around asking Dad's work buddies questions just to find out who he was. Although he dealt with depression, he was faithful and a good hard-worker. Their answers never seem to heal the missing link to my heart.

However, today's letter from Grandma helped. I had no idea about the crossroad that stood before him long ago and the choice between a great opportunity or to stay close to his family. I'm grateful for my dad's heart & commitment to us kids.

At times when we visited him, I would get extremely frustrated that he would not have long, deep conversations with me. I just wanted to tell him everything! I wanted him to be the grandpa that I saw others had for their children. This comparision was so sinful. He was the best that he knew how to be and for that, I am grateful for my dad.

I debated on whether or not sharing this letter, and it may seem simple to you, but my heart found healing in my Grandma's words. (At least I can always come back to this post and read her words if my letter gets misplaced or thrown away.)

I absolutely adore my Grandma. She is the modern day example of a woman chasing after God's own heart. I have learned so much from her and am deeply grateful for her life & love.

Here's her sweet letter of healing.....

"Dear Jackie,

I just wanted to Thank You for you taking the time to stop by on your very full trip Saturday. It was so good to see you and the children. Josiah is a very special young man and such a sweetheart- When I'm sitting on the porch-swing I can envision him hopping from step to step in the yard-and Lydia, with thos expressive brown eyes that tell you just what she is feeling- checking out the ceremic duck by the crepe myrtle bush. I remember so well when you were Lydia's age, Jackie, and had such fun 'jumping' off the step that used to be in front of the fireplace. Now, too, I have the precious memory of Eliah pulling that little chair out and sitting on it so proudly. They're wonderful youngsters and I know you and Sergio are really great parents.

Hope everything is working out for your future plans, and that you had a good trip back and a chance to rest up. Know it meant a lot to Kathy (my mom) for you to be there for the wedding. I'm really happy for her and wish she & Clark the very best. Am sure Carol (my grandma: mom's mom) was present in everyones thoughts and was looking down with her blessing (as Rick (my dad) would have wanted, too).

I've made a meatload for supper-one of Rick's favorite meals and it was a long time after he passed before I could bring myself to make one. Miss him more than ever but am grateful for the time we had and for the time he had with each of you kids- He loved you so much. And I'm grateful to God for those years He granted after Rick overcame his drug addiction. Some long-time friends-who now live in Washington state- visited me yesterday and we were talking about what a good mechanic Rick was. I don't know if I ever told you, but after he and your mom were divorced, Subaru wanted him to come to Texas and be a 'trouble-shooter' for their problems all over the country. I really thought it would be a great opportunity for him, but am proud of him for his choice to stay and be close to his family. That was what was important to him.

Better close now. It's cooler today and Fall is definitely in the air. I need to clean the furnace air filter and finish putting away summer clothes. Can't get over how quickly this year has gone by. We all say "Hi" and looking forward to news of that baby so keep in touch. Take care-You're always in our thoughts & prayers.

Loads of love,
Grandma"

I love you, too, Grandma!!!

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