After several attempts at starting a blog, I have high hopes of this one actually succeeding!!
Have you ever thought about who you are and then tried to write it out for the world to read?! Is it as hard for you as it is for me to not paint a beautiful picture of who I'd actually like to be rather than the person that I truly am??
Well, here I am.....
I grew up in Owasso, OK which use to be a small suburb of Tulsa. I lived in a perfect, little town, but my childhood was beyond anything close to perfect. Please don't get me wrong, my mother did the best job she could with the resources she had to love us and raise us as she knew best. However, my parents divorced when I was 6 and there was always some type of drama going on....whether it be living w/o utilities or playing in the parking lot of a jail so that our dad could see us while he served time for drugs.
My dad was in and out of our lives growing up and I longed for him to be around and for his approval. It didn't matter what was going on or where he was (jail, drug rehab), I just wanted his love.
Once I got older, I realized that I could experience "love" from others. Boy was I wrong! This was not love at all. This was giving myself away in order to fill a deep wound left unfilled.
I attended a Christian College in Missouri and spent hours upon hours studying the Word and learning about the love God so freely gives. It was hard for me to grasp because I would relate God to my earthly father rather than my Heavenly Father. So, at times, I would sink back into my self-gratification state and seek out to fix my deep wounds myself.
I made some horrible mistakes that I will carry for the rest of my life, but by His grace, my life has been transformed & I live renewed and filled by His Spirit!
I met my husband during this time of soul-searching and renewal. He has recently said that no matter my past, the decisions that I've made, he has no shame for me, I am his wife.
My story is long, as many of yours are, but I'd like to keep it brief for now. One can't simply share everything in the first post, right?!
And although this does not paint the most beautiful picture of myself, I can't wait to share with you the beauty of God's redeeming love through daily life experiences!